Sailor Moon Longings
by MNCrowRising
Summary: Alternate Universe: With the promise to rebuild her mother's kingdom, Princess Serenity flees the Earth for the Moon. Unsure of herself and facing an uncertain future, this is the story of her attempt to rebuild her world.
1. Default Chapter

****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! Oh how I wish they were!!! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. End of Disclaimer****   
  
~Sailor Moon Longings - Part 1~  
  
She stood there silent, in all her glory, her blue eyes, casting their mysterious glow upon the city below. She remained still. Her eyes searching for something she was not to find.   
  
The gentle cool breeze brushed past her bare shoulders and she stood, her arms hugging herself casually in thought. Her long blond tendrils tied up in their normal odangos, hung loose and long about her body almost touching the floor, stirred in the breeze. The breeze that blew about picked up each strand and caused them to dance about her.   
  
She stared out, distant. She had been searching long and hard for something. Something that she felt she would never have again. In frustration, she returned to her room, leaving the doors to the balcony open, allowing the gentle breeze play with the sheer curtains that hung before the glass doors.  
  
"Milady? Are you well?" Came a soft voice from the center of the room. Usagi lifted her gaze at the mention of her name.   
  
"No not particularly Ana. There is something out there. Something I have been searching for and have not found. Something…" Usagi let her words trail off. Ana looked at her Lady, sympathetically. When her lady had returned to her kingdom, she was happy and eager to return. But that was two months ago. Now, she was subdued almost calm. She was constantly daydreaming and staring out the windows for hours at a time. At times it was if her lady was saddened by something. And this change was what worried Ana so.   
  
Usagi slowly made her way to her dressing table and sat down on the stool that stood before it. She peered into the mirror at her reflection. Before her was the image of a beautiful young woman with long blond hair. Her large blue eyes were mysterious and showed the signs of happiness at one time. Her chin was held high in her reflection. She was proud of who she was. She followed her thin neck and gazed at her shoulders, the very shoulders that held so much weight upon them, at one point or another.   
  
"Ana? What do you see when you look at me?" She asked looking to her lady in waiting through the mirror. Ana looked back at her lady through the mirror's glass, she fidgeted a moment. She had been caught off guard.  
  
"Oh Ana, I'm sorry. Forgive me will you?" Usagi asked as she gave her lady in waiting a reassuring smile.   
  
"It's fine really milady," Ana started as she took a seat at the foot of Usagi's bed. "What do I see when I look at you? Milady, what is wrong?" Ana asked, her voice expressing her concern. Usagi smiled and shook her head slightly.  
  
"Have you ever wondered who you really were? Where you came from? If there are those who are exactly like you? Have you ever longed for something that you knew you might never have?" Usagi asked, curiously.  
  
Ana thought a moment before she spoke, "No milady I have not. Those who are similar to myself surround me. And I have everything I could possibly want." Ana said as she stood to her feet and exited the room to carry on her duties, leaving the trouble Usagi alone with her thoughts.  
  
"That's what I was afraid of" Usagi said softly to her reflection in the mirror, sadness and loneliness in her eyes as well.   
  
He stood in the window of his apartment and stared out into busy street below. The moon was full and looked peaceful but at the same time, he felt the chaos that lurked around the moon. He felt the chaos within. It had been two months since she left, but why?   
  
It had happened all so fast.   
  
"Usagi? What's wrong? You don't seem yourself lately," Makoto asked concerned. Usagi looked up at her friend, startled as if rudely awaken from sleep.   
  
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asked with a forced smile. Makoto and Ami frowned. None of the group had ever seen Usagi like this before. And lately it was Usagi was a different person then the blond bubblehead they all knew and loved. It was as if she had traded in her vibrant personality and took on a totally different one. One that was quiet and subdued. She was constantly daydreaming and most the time seemed to slip from their company when their backs were turned.  
  
"Usagi! What has gotten into you?" Raye asked annoyed as she poked Usagi's arm trying to get a rise out of her. Usagi glanced at Raye and shrugged the poke off causing Raye to become even more frustrated.   
  
"Nothing is wrong with me. I feel fine. You really all shouldn't worry about me," Usagi said cheerfully as she ducked into the library and leaving the others on the sidewalk in their confusion.   
  
"The library?" Minako asked, her shock filtering into her voice. The others too stood and stared at the front doors to the library slowly clicked shut, shocked. They normally had to drag Usagi kicking and screaming in order to get her in that place. And here she was voluntarily going into a place she would never be caught dead in? WEIRD!  
  
Usagi silently slipped through the library weaving in and out of rows after rows of books just in case the others were following her. She just wanted to be alone right now. And their constant questions were bugging her. But she knew they had to right to know. But she couldn't tell them right now. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to tell them.   
  
"I'm sorry you guys. If I could tell you I would. Please understand that I can't tell you what's wrong. Please," Usagi thought silently as she glanced over her shoulder quickly before slipping through the back door into the alley behind the library.  
  
"Usagi? Usagi!"   
  
Usagi mentally shook herself back to reality. She and Mamoru were in his apartment sharing a quiet evening alone, like they had so many times before. They were curled up on the couch, Mamoru with his arm around Usagi, holding her close to him. They had just finished a romantic dinner that he had cooked and now they were just relaxing.  
  
"Usagi, you were daydreaming again. Are you sure you are alright?" Mamoru asked concerned. He had never seen her this distracted before. Usagi nodded and forced a smile onto her face, but her eyes betrayed the look of happiness. They were sad, almost frightened at the same time.  
  
He shifted himself so that he and Usagi were looking at each other.   
  
"Usagi, I'm worried about you. You have not been yourself since that night at my friend's cabin. Come on and talk to me, will you? What's wrong?" He asked almost pleaded. Usagi took a deep breath. ~I have to tell him. He has the right to know. He should know~ She thought as she opened her mouth to speak. She was going to tell him everything and get it off her chest, but she thought again.  
  
"Mamoru, I can't. It's not that I don't want to because I truly do want to tell you, but I can't. I just can't!" Usagi cried as she stumbled to her feet and rushed from the apartment in tears.   
  
"USAGI!" 


	2. Chapter 2

****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. ****   
  
~ Sailor Moon Longings - Part 2~  
  
"Do you think she will ever come back?" Minako asked softly as she and the rest slowly made their way to school. It was a question that weighed heavily on each mind. It was a question they all thought would never be answered.  
  
"I don't care if she never comes back," Raye said harshly causing the other senshi to turn and stare at her, eyes wide with shock and mouths gaping open.  
  
"Raye, you can't mean that?" Ami said.  
  
"And why not? She was a coward for even considering leaving. She was a coward for never telling us what was wrong when we asked her. She was a coward for turning her back on the scouts. She was a coward for turning her back on her friends. Now tell me, do I mean it?" Raye's question remained unanswered. They all thought the same at one point, but they never voiced it. Raye was right; they were without a friend and a leader.   
  
"We've been through so much as friends. I am not going to turn my back on her as a friend and fellow scout. There is always a reason for everything. There has to be a reason for this," Minako said firmly with a slight nod. She watched as the others, all but Raye, nod in return. They had to stay positive about this. The rest of the walk to school was silent, each alone with their own thoughts. They turned the corner and slowly made their way up the large stairway to the school's doors.  
  
"There has to be a logical explanation for her actions and why she did this," Ami said finally, very determined to make them all feel better about the situation. The others just hoped she was right.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Usagi was awoken the next morning by the soft sweet song of the birds outside her window. The sun filtered through the soft sheer curtains, dancing about in the gentle spring breeze. Usagi closed her eyes for a moment to forget everything that was going on. To have a moment of sweet peace was all she was looking for. She sighed as she once more opened her eyes, wishing for the most part that she could remain in that peace. But there was much ahead of her and once again she was longing for her mother's guidance and wisdom.   
  
It had been years since the Moon Kingdom had been rebuilt. After the Negamoon family was defeated and their minions destroyed, it wasn't long before thoughts turned to rebuilding the Moon Kingdom. A promise to her mother long ago, when the worlds were at peace the Kingdom was to be rebuilt. And it was, Usagi saw to that.   
  
This was now her most cherished retreat, returning for visits here and there. Never staying for a real stay, just long enough to see over rebuilding and the matters of the Kingdom. And she always made sure to return to Earth the same day, before she was missed. This was the one time that she actually stayed from a visit. She knew the others would eventually figure out where she went to, but for the moment she knew she would be alone here.  
  
Usagi sat up slowly in her bed, swinging her feet over the side of the bed, her feet touching the cool stone floor. She quickly found her slippers and slipped them on, welcoming the sudden warmth. She stood and walked slowly to her balcony as she had done each morning upon her arrival, her satin nightgown floating about her as she walked.   
  
She leaned against the railing and looked out upon the garden below, the fountains bubbling gently below. Her thoughts once more fluttered to her friends and what they would be doing right now. They would all be in classes and when they had breaks in between, their conversations would float to the top of her and her disappearance. But Usagi knew it wasn't time yet. She still needed time to sort out her feelings and thoughts. She needed time to be alone and find out what she really wanted. She would tell them when the time was right. Or at least that's what she hoped...As long as she kept telling herself that she would eventually tell them, which meant that she would, right?  
  
She shook the thought from her mind and placed a smile on her face. Today was going to be a good day no matter what. In fact, today she was going to take a long ride through the country and enjoy the sun. It has been awhile since she rode Alia, her beautiful white mare. Yes...today was going to be a good day, even if she had to force it to be.  
  
**I just want to thank those who read and reveiwed. Keep them coming! I will try to update on a more regular basis. If you want to know when I update, leave your email address in your reveiw!** 


	3. Chapter 3

****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. ****   
  
~ Sailor Moon Longings - Part 3~  
  
Usagi stepped into the stable dressed in her normal riding attire, black riding boots, a black riding helmet under one arm, tan riding pans and a soft pale pink long sleeved shirt. She walked down the middle of the long isle of stalls, seeking out Alia's. She slowed down once she reached the middle of the stable and turned, a smile across her lips. There she was, a snow-white mare with a bit of gray on her snout. Her soft eyes welcomed Usagi as she reached over the door and greeted the beast with a piece of apple, Alia's favorite.   
  
"Hello precious," Usagi cooed as the mare gently took the apple into her mouth and munched away silently. Alia snuffed softly as if urging Usagi to open the door already. Usagi smiled and rubbed the mare's nose.  
  
"Alright, I can take a hint already," Usagi snickered as reached for the lead rope that hung on a hook outside the door, swung the door open and stepped inside.   
  
"Come, time for a nice long ride, Alia," Usagi cooed in the mare's ear as she latched the rope onto the horse's halter, leading the horse from her stall and into the center isle. Usagi waved off help from the stable boy and went about prepping the horse for their ride. Once the saddle and reins were placed and made sure of a snug fit, Usagi placed a booted foot in one of the stirrups and swung her other leg over the beast, placing it in the other. Usagi settled into the saddle and urged the horse out of the stable with a slight click of her tongue.   
  
Soon, both horse and rider were enjoying a gentle canter out of the stable and down a path just outside the fences. Usagi sighed and smiled as they weaved down the path beneath the trees, their shadows cool on her skin. This is exactly what she needed, a long ride to sort out her thoughts and to clear her mind. Not to mention being good excersize, something that she was encouraged to do frequently. It wasn't healthy keeping herself shut up in her room, taking her meals on her balcony, not leaving her room for anything. It felt good to be out in the sun-warmed air with the gentle cool breeze reminding you that it was spring.   
  
The two continued their canter for a few more strides, then Usagi letting loose, spurred Alia into a gallop. The wind in her long golden tendrils was what she really wanted. For a moment, she was truly free. Usagi smiled as she felt Alia's muscles move beneath her, her hooves beating the dry earth. Usagi had not a care in the world. Her thoughts didn't matter, for that moment she was free, truly free. Free from the worry, free from the stress, free from her responsibilities. Free from everything! The shade of the trees parted as the two entered into a clearing, the sun beating off the nearby lake.   
  
Usagi was here, her favorite spot other then the Kingdom as a whole. This was the place her mother and father had often taken her on picnics as a young girl. Usagi urged the horse to a halt and climbed down off her back, letting Alia free to roam the meadow, full knowing that she wouldn't wander far. Usagi strode over to a large rock, partially submerged in water and climbed up on it, removing her boots and socks to place her feet in the cool water. And there she sat, alone once more with her thoughts and memories.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
They sat, as they had done before many times, around the table. Ami, Raye, Minako, Makoto, but this time they were without their fifth. Luna sat on the computer chair, while Artemis sat on the desk next to the computer. All were silent, each of the girls staring off into empty space. Neither speaking, neither moving, they were statues frozen forever in their gloom.   
  
"Did she say anything to any of you as to why she was leaving?" Luna asked, trying to get some reaction out of any of the scouts, feeling that her efforts were failing.  
  
"She just left, no word, no goodbye, no nothing," Raye said sourly, part of her was furious that Usagi left, but another part of her was worried and wished she knew why just as they all did.  
  
"There had to be something that happened that would make aide in her decision," Ami muttered softly, her voice almost inaudible. They sat and thought a moment before any spoke.  
  
"Does anyone have some idea?" Artemis asked, eager to find their leader and bring conclusion to the matter at hand. His eyes scanned the girls around the table as they all shook their heads slowly. They were stuck in a tight spot and had no way out.   
  
"Would Mamoru know? Maybe Usagi mentioned what was bothering her to him? If anyone would have some sort of idea what was bothering her and why she left, he would," Minako piped up, her face and eyes a bit more hopeful then they had been in months. The others exchanged glances with one another and turned all their gazes at Artemis and Luna, would he know?  
  
"Well, it wouldn't hurt asking," Luna finally said after a bit of thought. Hopefully, they could now get somewhere in the mystery of why Usagi left. 


	4. Chapter 4

****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. ****   
  
~ Sailor Moon Longings - Part 4~   
  
"Coming!" He called from the living room as he quickly made his way down the short hall and opened the door. There they stood, all 6 of them, Luna and Artemis included. He smiled effortlessly and motioned for all of them to come in, as he stepped closer to the wall giving them enough room to enter. They all crammed through the door and entered into the living room, taking up seats where they could find them.   
  
"Mamoru, we've come-"   
  
"No need to explain Luna, I know why you have all come," Mamoru said softly, his eyes shifting to the floor. "It's because of Usagi." He muttered softly as his gaze once more shifted to the group before him.  
  
Luna glanced around the room briefly and cleared her throat slightly, "Um well yes. Did she say anything to you?"  
  
Mamoru sighed and thought a moment, the rest of the room staring at him waiting for him to say something. "No she hadn't. I honestly was hoping she had said something to one of you about what was bothering her."  
  
They all shook their heads; she had not said a word to any of them. "Do you have any idea what might have caused her mood change?" Ami asked, trying to analyze the situation as best as she could. Mamoru shook his head.  
  
"No. She had started acting strange a few weeks after our weekend up at the Cabin," He said as he crossed the room to the kitchen to get them all drinks. Ami thought a moment. She started acting funny a few weeks after the visit to the Cabin?  
  
"Mamoru, what happened up at the Cabin?" Ami asked hoping that he would tell them. Mamoru closed the cupboard door and stared at the empty glasses that littered the countertop.  
  
"Usagi?" His voice broke the night silence, as he stood in the doorway. She stood before him, looking out on the night Mountain View, dressed in the silk nightgown she had bought specially for the occasion.  
  
She turned her head slightly at the sound of her name. He stepped up behind her, wrapping his bare arms around her small waist, his bare chest warm against the cool skin of her back. She smiled and turned back to the scene before her, the full moon's reflection bright on the still waters of the lake. The night time breeze cool on their skin as the two of them stood silently on the porch, the leaves on the trees rustling gently as if they were singing.  
  
Usagi sighed happily, "This place is beautiful." She said softly as she gently wrapped her arms about her, resting her hands on the set of arms about her middle. Mamoru's lips gently brushed her shoulder, placing a gentle kiss there causing Usagi to smile.   
  
"Mamoru?" Ami's voice broke through his memories. Mamoru, startled, glanced up to Ami who stood in the doorway and forced a smile.   
  
"I'm sorry what?" He asked as he quickly put the glasses on a serving tray along with a pitcher of lemonade. Ami stepped back and out of the way as he left the kitchen with the drinks, her eyes watching him as he went. Something did happen at the lake and Mamoru was the key, Ami thought as she followed behind him, taking her seat once more.  
  
The small group sipped their drinks in silence for a moment, each alone with their own thoughts before Luna spoke up.  
  
"We are just trying to find out what would make Usagi leave without telling anyone why, that's all. She hadn't spoken to any of the Senshi and neither myself nor Artemis. So in the end that leaves-" Luna let her voice trail as she gazed hard at Mamoru who was staring at his untouched lemonade.  
  
"Me," He said softly, finishing the small cat's words. He sighed and looked up from his drink, letting his eyes survey the faces in the room. Each one holding a high concern for their Princess and the need for information.  
  
"I really don't know what you want me to say really. We went up to the Cabin for some quality time alone. Shared a romantic weekend together and came home. A few weeks later she started acting strange. I believe she tried to tell me what was bothering her, but then she ran out of my apartment and ignored my calls after that. So right now you guess is as good as mine," He said matter of factly, his anger at the situation and not knowing what was truly going on was starting to get the best of him. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. There was no real reason to get worked up. They needed to find her and find her quick.  
  
"Have you tried her communicator?" Mamoru asked, changing the topic quickly from their weekend away.   
  
It was Artemis' turn to speak, "Yes, we tried shortly after she left to reach her. But she ignored our attempts."   
  
"Why don't we try again? She might answer this time after having some time to herself," Minako piped up trying to lighten the mood and offer a ray of hope. Her suggestion was greeted by a brief mumble of conversation.  
  
"It's worth a try," Luna said as the conversation died down a bit. Smiles of hope filled their faces, even if for a moment. Ami reached in her bag and pulled out her communicator. With a reassured glance from the rest of the group, she flipped it open and gave it a shot.  
  
"Sailor Moon, this is Sailor Mercury, come in Sailor Moon."  
  
As Ami held the communicator in her hand, the others stared at it, waiting for it to spring to life with the voice of the beloved leader, Sailor Moon.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Usagi sighed as she lay on the warm rock with her eyes closed. It felt wonderful to forget her troubles and worries, even if just for a brief moment. She was thankful for the last two months of peace. But she knew deep within, that the peace she was thankful for was a short-lived peace.  
  
She opened her eyes and watched the dragonflies dance about the water, putting a smile on her face. Everything out here was peaceful and untouched. Her thoughts once more turned to Mamoru and her friends. She knew she needed to tell them, but she wasn't ready. Was she? Just then her ears were greeted by a familiar ringing sound. Usagi climbed off the rock and strode across the meadow to where Alia was grazing. She smiled at the horse and gave her a gentle pat before she reached into the saddlebag and pulled out her ringing communicator. She held it in her open hand, letting it ring a moment.   
  
"Sailor Moon, this is Sailor Mercury, come in Sailor Moon"  
  
Usagi sighed; it was Ami's voice. She knew that where Ami was, the rest would be there as well. Was Mamoru with them? She really didn't need to answer that question. She knew he would be with them.  
  
"Sailor Moon, come in Sailor Moon" Ami's voice rang through once more. 


	5. Chapter 5

****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. ****   
  
Author's note: Please read and review! Thanks!!  
  
~ Sailor Moon Longings - Part 5~   
  
"Sailor Moon, come in Sailor Moon" Ami's voice rang as Usagi stared at the communicator she held in her hand. Her mind wrestled with her thoughts. Part of her wanted to let them know she was all right but the other part of her wanted nothing to do with them, not right now.  
  
Usagi sighed as she keyed the button; they at least had the right to know that she was safe.   
  
"This is Sailor Moon," She said half-heartedly. She knew from the sound of cheers from the other end that everyone was there, including Mamoru.  
  
"Usagi?! Are you alright?" Minako's voice filtered over the comm. Usagi gave a halfhearted smile.   
  
"Yes I am fine," She replied, half wishing now that she had just ignored them and her communicator.  
  
"Where are you?" It was now Raye's voice that came over the link. Usagi frowned; she was not going to tell them where she was. That was a promise she made to herself when she first arrived back on the Moon.  
  
"I am safe," Usagi replied.  
  
"Safe? But where?" Makoto broke in. Usagi shook her head.  
  
"Just know that I am safe," Usagi replied, they would just have to know that she was safe.   
  
"Usagi?"   
  
Usagi shivered slightly at the sound of Mamoru's voice. She really wasn't ready to speak with him yet. "Mamoru"  
  
"Usagi when are you coming home?" He asked, his voice full of question and longing. Usagi's bottom lip started to quiver slightly as she fought back the tears. She wanted so much to race into his arms and feel protected by him. She wanted so much to tell him everything. To tell him that everything was going to be just fine. But she couldn't bring herself to answer him, to tell him when she was coming home. She couldn't bring herself to tell him anything.  
  
"Usagi?" His voice rang over the com again.  
  
"I can't," She said as she clicked off her communicator, pressing it lightly to her forehead, justifying her decision.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Mamoru stared at the now dead communicator. He tried several other times to try and reach her again, with no such luck. He sighed as he felt his heart ache. There was something she wasn't telling him and it pained him that even now they had secrets. They had fought so hard before to over come them. But now...he wasn't sure.  
  
"Mamoru?" Ami's voice interrupted his thoughts, he gave a weak smile and tossed the communicator on the coffee table, climbing to his feet and crossing the room to stand before the window. He watched, silent for a moment the people on the street below carrying about their business.   
  
Ami and the rest sat and stared as Mamoru stood before the large window, each alone with their own thoughts and confused feelings. Neither knew what to say.  
  
"Well at least we know she is safe," Mamoru finally said, his voice bland and slightly harsh, his body motionless as he continued to stare at the window.  
  
Ami and Minako glanced at each other before shifting their glances. Minako stared into the cup she held in her lap, Ami stared at Mamoru, her heart saddened for him. Raye, too, continued to watch Mamoru, Makoto glancing down at Artemis, who too had nothing to say.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Usagi wiped at the tears that had begun to stream down her cheeks. She very much hated the fact that she was keeping something this huge from her closest friends. They weren't just her friends, they were her family. But as much as it pained her to keep this from them, she couldn't bring herself to tell them. She rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes, catching what remained of the tears. She thrust her communicator back into the saddlebag and climbed back onto Alia's back, eager to return home.  
  
The ride home was a somber one as Alia and Usagi trotted up the path towards the stables. Ana, the princess' lady in waiting, raced down the steps of the castle at the site of her returning Princess.   
  
Usagi climbed down slowly and leaned her head against the horse's silky coat.   
  
"Milady?" Ana called as she neared the princess. Usagi turned her head, still leaning against the horse, tears smearing her cheeks. Ana sighed as she drew closer to Usagi. The princess had grown so much since she had become aware of who she was. Ana, at times, felt as if Usagi was like a younger sister in need of guidance then her Lady.  
  
"Mika, the horse please!" Ana called out to the near by stable hand. A strapping young lad quickly took hold of the reins and lead Alia inside to brush her down. Ana smiled sweetly as she wrapped an arm about Usagi's waist, allowing the princess to rest her head on Ana's shoulder, lead the girl inside and to her room. Silently, Ana too wished that Queen Serenity were here, the young maiden was in need of the great Queen's guidance. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Sailor Moon and her friends aren't mine, but the storyline is. Please read and review, thanks!! If you want an email letting you know of updates, please include your email in your review!**  
  
It had been a few months since the last communication. Each time they tried to reach Usagi, their attempts were futile. She seemed to be ignoring her communicator. The whole situation was taking its toll on all of them, Mamoru especially. He seemed to be more withdrawn since she had left.   
  
The girls needed to concentrate on their studies. And even though Ami was always studying, it was agreed upon that Ami would take care of keeping an eye on Mamoru. After all, she knew all the study material anyway.  
  
Ami stood outside Mamoru's door and stared at it for a moment. Out of all of them, he was taking Usagi's leave the hardest. Who could blame him really? He cared about her just as much if not more then the rest of them. But it hurt Ami to see Mamoru this way.   
  
"Mamoru? It's Ami," She called through the door after her knock was unanswered. "Mamoru?" Ami called as she reached for the doorknob, turning it gently. "Mamoru? Are you here?" Ami called softly as she peaked her head through his open door. Mamoru stood, his back to the door, staring out the large window in his living room as he had done many times when the girls came to visit.   
  
"Mamoru?" Ami's voice broke the silence of his apartment. Mamoru shifted his weight slightly. Ami frowning walked around the couch and stood next to him. "Mamoru?" She said softly as she placed a hand gently on his arm. Mamoru slowly turned to look at Ami, his eyes red from lack of sleep.   
  
"Ami," He said softly, his voice free of emotion. Ami tried to smile, but Mamoru's eyes were dark and blank, and her smile quickly turned to a frown. He was pale. He looked as if he had been inside since she had left. His eyes seemed hallow and sunken from lack of sleep.  
  
"Mamoru?! Have you slept at all?" Ami asked as she gently reached up and brushed away a few strands of hair that had fallen in his face.   
  
Mamoru didn't answer. He didn't have to. Ami knew the answer. He had not slept and hardly had eaten since she left. The sight of Mamoru standing before her pained her heart. "Oh Mamoru," Ami cried softly as she reached up surrounding his shoulders in a warm embrace. She hated seeing him like this. She wanted to see him happy again.  
  
Mamoru dreamed of Usagi doing the same thing, wrapping her arms around his waist and calling out his name. She had when they were at the cabin. If he had known...  
  
"You are thinking about her aren't you?" Ami's voice broke his thoughts. Mamoru looked down into Ami's large concerned eyes. Mamoru nodded and gently ran a finger down the side of her face, letting it linger about the base of Ami's neck. Usagi used to look up at him the same way. When he was lost in thought, she would be there, her sparkling blue eyes staring back up at him. He would run a finger down the side of her face and let it linger about the base of her neck as well. Ami stared at him, confused. He stared at her as she had seen him do with Usagi and yet there was pain in his eyes as well.   
  
Ami let her arms drop from around him and watched him. Mamoru stood a moment and continued to stare at Ami as if she was Usagi. "Mamoru? Are you ill?" She asked. Mamoru smiled lovingly. "Mamoru you are starting to worry me."   
  
Mamoru frowned and walked around the couch, flopping down in the corner of it, sinking into the soft cushions.   
  
"Sorry Ami. I miss her so much and it pains me that she won't talk to me and tell me what's bothering her," Mamoru said, sounding more like himself. Ami sighed and sat down in a chair opposite Mamoru.  
  
"I know. It is killing the rest of us as well," Ami said softly. Mamoru continued to frown as he reminisced about their weekend at the cabin. It was the last time they had been together since she had been gone. It was the last time they had been together happy.  
  
"Mamoru, can I ask you something?" Ami asked, hoping he would be willing to help shed some light on this mystery.   
  
Mamoru nodded, "Sure."  
  
Ami thought a moment before speaking, "What happened that night you and Usagi went to the cabin?"   
  
Mamoru's frown seemed to lift slightly before returning. "Why do you want to know?" He asked. That was a question he was hoping to avoid.  
  
"Honestly, I believe it was the turning point in Usagi. Something happened that night that sparked this change in Usagi. Something happened that made her flee..." Ami paused a moment before continuing, "And you are the only one who knows."  
  
Mamoru sighed; he too had been thinking the same thing. But nothing happened out of the ordinary. "Ami, if I knew what sparked her to leave, I would have been the first to tell all of you. But the truth is, I don't know. We did the same thing we have always done. Spent time together away from everyone and everything. We ate together, watched the sunrise and set, made love, swam in the lake, went for hikes. It was the same we have always done when we went away together."  
  
Ami thought a moment. It was true. Usagi always told the girls about their evenings together as well as their weekend getaways. Every time she talked about it, she made it sound like some soap opera. But what made this one so different? "Nothing else happened that weekend?" Ami asked. Mamoru shook his head.  
  
"I wish I knew." He said. 


	7. Chapter 7

**None of the characters from the Sailor Moon Universe are mine. The story line and the characters that aren't originally from the SM Universe are mine. Please RR and if you want to know of updates to the story line, be sure to include your email in your review.**  
  
"Well what happened? What did he say?" Those were the only two questions she heard as she walked into Makoto's kitchen. The rest of the girls were gathered around the island as Ami dropped her bag onto the floor.   
  
"The same thing Usagi tells us about their evenings and weekends together. Everything they had done and nothing out of the ordinary," Ami said as she plopped into a near by chair. Minako slunk into the chair opposite Ami, placing her elbows on the table and propping her chin with her hands.   
  
"So now what do we do?" Minako asked as Makoto placed a cookie sheet full of cookies on the table to cool.   
  
"I guess the thing to do is find someone who is close to Usagi. Someone who Usagi would tell anything to," Makoto said as she pulled the oven mitt from her hand.   
  
"Other then us, who would she confide in?" Raye asked as she grabbed a fresh cookie and took a bite. Ami smiled at a revelation.  
  
"Molly!" Ami shouted as she jumped to her feet. Minako and Makoto smiled. They too knew that when it came to stuff Usagi didn't want them to know, Molly would.   
  
Raye swallowed her mouthful of cookie, "One problem. Her and Melvin moved to the United States shortly after high school."   
  
"Then it's time the sailors teleported." Ami said with a determined grin. Molly was the only one who would possibly know where Usagi was. And if she were the only one who knew, then they would go to her!   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Coming!" Molly's voice carried through the closed door. Ami and the rest stood impatiently outside Molly and Melvin's door. Ami held a recent letter to Usagi that she had gotten from Luna. She was just as glad as the rest of them that it had the address on it.  
  
"Hey guys! What are you doing here?" Molly's cheerful smile greeted them. She stepped aside to let the group filter into the hall. "Where's Usagi? I can't believe you made the trip without her." Molly said with the same sweet smile.   
  
Ami frowned, "That's why we are here."  
  
Molly looked from Ami to the others in confusion. "What do you mean? Where's Usagi?" Molly asked as she closed the door behind her visitors.  
  
"She has been gone three months now," Makoto said softly as she took a seat on the couch. The others took up seating in various places in the living room. Molly sat at the opposite end of the couch, next to Minako.   
  
"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Molly asked more confused because of the lack of answers. Raye sighed.  
  
"She up and left without telling us where she went. Mamoru doesn't know where she is at all. We had one conversation with her and she didn't give any hint as to where she was or when she was coming home. We were hoping you had some sort of idea as to where she was," Raye said bluntly. Molly sighed, stood and crossed to a nearby window over looking a small yard below.   
  
"Did she say anything to you?" Minako asked, her eyes as well as everyone else's glued to Molly as she continued to stare out the window.  
  
"Usagi told me she was going away for a while. She needed to be away from everyone to clear her head and sort out her feelings about something. She didn't say what it was. Just that she had a promise to keep and that she was returning home for a while to see that the promise was kept. What promise? I don't know. That's all she told me," Molly said softly, turning around to face the group, her arms wrapped about her in an embrace. "Like I said, she didn't tell me much."  
  
The girls sat and stared blankly for a moment. Promise? What promise? The only promise that they knew of that she would make was...  
  
"Of course!" Ami exclaimed, startling the others.   
  
"You know what she was talking about?" Molly asked, slightly thankful that someone had some idea of what Usagi was talking about. Ami jumped to her feet and smiled largely.   
  
"Molly you are a lifesaver! Thank you so much!" Ami smiled as she gave their hostess a brief embrace and hurried towards the door, the others quickly following suit. Molly stood and stared after them. She had always known that Usagi's friends were strange, but this was nuts!  
  
"Glad I could help," Molly muttered as the door shut behind them, leaving a still confused Molly behind.   
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Now will you tell us what is going on?" Makoto asked as they all gathered around the table in her kitchen. Luna and Artemis, who had joined them at Ami's request, sat on the kitchen counter. Ami still beaming pulled out her laptop and began punching the buttons for some reason.  
  
"Ami? What's all the secrecy?" Raye asked, as she grew slightly impatient. If Ami knew where Usagi was, she sure wasn't letting it out any time soon.  
  
Ami smiled triumphantly as she spun the laptop around so that the others could see. Before them on the computer screen was an image of the Moon Kingdom Royal Family. Queen Serenity stood in the picture in a long flowing white gown, her white hair pulled up similar to Usagi's, King Endymoin stood tall and proud in his dark armour next to her. And their daughter Princess Serenity, dressed similar to her mother, stood in the middle of the royal pair. The trio stood proud and noble.  
  
"Yeah, so what does the picture of the Royal Family have to do with where Usagi is?" Raye asked, a bit more annoyed that Ami was playing games with them and making them guess.  
  
"Everything!" Ami said as she hit another button and the picture of the Royal family was replaced with an image of the Moon Kingdom before it was destroyed by Beryl and her many minions. "You remember what the palace and the grounds looked like when we were last there?"  
  
"Yeah everything was in ruins and nothing looked as it had in the past," Minako said, like the rest slightly confused to where this all was going.   
  
Ami nodded, "Right. I guarantee you that Serenity made a promise to her mother. When Beryl and her minions were destroyed and the worlds were once more at peace that Serenity would return to the Kingdom and rebuild it."  
  
Her comment was greeted by silence. The girls stared at the picture of the once glorious Moon Kingdom in thought. Was it possible that was what Usagi had done? Promised to rebuild the Palace and the Kingdom? It sounded crazy even for Usagi. But did it explain everything?  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
A/N: I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed so far. It is really appreciated. Keep checking back for updates!! Again, thanks!!! 


	8. Chapter 8

None of the characters from the Sailor Moon Universe are mine. The story line and the characters that aren't originally from the SM Universe are mine. Please RR and if you want to know of updates to the story line, be sure to include your email in your review.  
  
AN: I want to thank everyone again who has read and reviewed. As promised, here is chapter 8. Sorry it took so long. Unfortunately, life happens and there is no stopping it. Enjoy!  
  
"What are you talking about? Do you mean Usagi is at the Crystal Palace?" Minako questioned as she climbed to her feet and leaned on the table. They finally knew where Usagi was?  
  
Ami frowned slightly, "If you were paying attention to what I had just said, then yes she has returned to the Moon Kingdom and is rebuilding it as we speak according to my calculations."   
  
Minako scowled as she sat back down, "Ami you really need to lay off the calculation bit. What's to calculate?! She's rebuilding the Kingdom and we are sitting here when we should be there helping."  
  
"Not so fast Minako. I think one of us should get some more information out of Mamoru before we go trooping off to help Usagi," Makoto chimed as she placed another batch of cookies in the center of the table.  
  
"Makoto's right," Rei said as she reached for another cookie and stuffed it in her mouth, "We need to know exactly why she left and Mamoru is the only one who knows."  
  
"He is not going to talk about it willingly you know. We've tried it before and got no where. How is this time going to be any different?" Minako asked as she too reached for another cookie.  
  
The girls stared at each other in silence, neither wanting to offer a suggestion.  
  
"Then you all need to sit down with him and make him talk. Usagi needs us and if Mamoru doesn't offer up anything new, then we go to Usagi herself," Luna piped up as she looked around to each of the group. Artemis nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"Right! First Mamoru and then Usagi herself. Either way we are going to get to the bottom of this whole thing," Artemis added, the girls each nodding her head in agreement as they all climbed to their feet and headed for the door. They were now on to Mamoru's once more, this time they weren't leaving until they were satisfied with the answer they were looking for.  
  
"Look I told you already, I don't know why she left," Mamoru said as he stood by the open door, staring at the small group that had gathered in the hall outside his door. The girls frowned in unison.  
  
"She's rebuilding the Moon Kingdom," Rei said as she pushed past Mamoru, leading the girls into his apartment. Mamoru sighed and shut the door behind them. He paused a moment, lost in his own thoughts. So that's where she was. On the moon.   
  
"Mamoru? Are you alright?" Ami asked as she watched the blank eyes of Mamoru disappear as quickly as they had appeared.   
  
"Yeah I am fine." He said as he stepped forward between the girls and plopped down on the couch. He wasn't going to be able to brush them off this time.   
  
"Mamoru-"  
  
"Wait Ami. Before you say another word, stop. What happened between Usagi and myself at the cabin is between her and myself. I appreciate your concern, but this is something we need to figure out just the two of us," Mamoru said quietly   
  
Ami stared blankly at Mamoru, her words frozen on her tongue. Rei scoffed.  
  
"Then why haven't you done anything about it? Need I remind you that we need Usagi? She is the glue that keeps us together!" Rei blurted, her anger beginning to rise. "If this is something you two needed to take care of together, then you should be doing it!" Rei snapped, crossing her arms. This was taking too long. They need to talk to Usagi and talk to her now.  
  
Mamoru sighed. Rei was right, he should have dealt with it when it first showed up. "Fine, I am going with you then."  
  
The girls all leapt to their feet in a fit of cheers. They were finally getting to the bottom of this whole mess!  
  
Usagi smiled as she turned her face to the warm sun as it entered into her room through the wind swept drapes. This was the first in a long time that she was able to smile and feel happy, her longing pushed to the back of her mind.  
  
It had been almost 6 months to the day that she had left her home and friends on Earth. But this was what she needed. She needed to be away from them and from Mamoru. They would never understand the reason she had left. She needed to lead her own life, fulfill her duties as the Moon Princess. She needed to carry out her mother's wishes.  
  
As she stood out on her balcony over looking the luscious garden below, she smiled contently. Her promise was fulfilled and the Castle and it's gardens never looked better. The flowers glittered in the sunshine as the fresh dew lay on their petals. The water of the fountains trickled in the cool breeze as it fell on the cool stone. Usagi breathed deep, letting the air fill her lungs and slowly released it. For once in a great long time she was at peace.   
  
"Usagi," Came a familiar voice. Usagi's muscles went ridged at the familiar tone. She slowly turned around to face someone she had not expected to see.  
  
"Usagi-" Mamoru's words dropped like a ton of bricks as he stared wide eyed at Usagi and her slightly swollen form.   
  
"Mamoru," Usagi cried, trying to hide the surprise look on her face with a smile. Boy did she have some explaining to do. "I can explain," She said as her smile faded.  
  
AN: That's it for chapter 8! I promise the next update won't take me as long as this one did! Again thanks to all the readers!! 


	9. Chapter 9

None of the characters from the Sailor Moon Universe are mine. The story line and the characters that aren't originally from the SM Universe are mine. Please RR and if you want to know of updates to the story line, be sure to include your email in your review. 

AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while! Life has been a bit crazy especially now that I have a baby (who's going to be 5 months old in July). I want to thank everyone again who has read and reviewed. Keep reading to find out what happened at the Cabin and why Usagi ran away! Enjoy!

Sailor Moon Longings Chapter 9

Mamoru stared blankly at Usagi as she slowly and gently crossed the room, his jaw frozen open in confusion.

Usagi carefully sat down in a near by chair and smoothed the ruffles from her lap before folding her hands and resting them in her lap. She looked back at Mamoru with a forced smile. Things so far were not going well.

"Mamoru-" Her own words dropped. She was searching for the words that would help explain the situation at hand, but to no avail she was lost for words. "Please won't you sit?" She finally said, motioning to a near by chair with a gentle wave of a hand.

Mamoru blinked a few times before sitting in the chair that Usagi had motioned to. He could not take his eyes of Usagi and her condition.

"Usagi, what happened?" Mamoru finally choked out. Usagi fluttered her eyes quickly and forced another sweet smile.

"Whatever are you talking about Mamoru? It's so good to finally see you again," Usagi forced out, the sweetness in her voice definitely fake. Now it was Mamoru's turn to blink, how could she not know what he was talking about?

"I'm talking about this!" Mamoru cried as he jumped to his feet, hands outstretched pointing to her belly. "What happened!"

Usagi quickly glanced around, nervously. "Mamoru please lower your voice!"

"I will not until I get the answers I am looking for! Usagi, what happened!" Mamoru cried once more staring wildly at Usagi sitting in front of him.

Usagi sighed. There was no use pretending that her belly wasn't swollen and that she had ran away from Earth. "Mamoru, I am pregnant" She finally said softly.

Mamoru's jaw dropped once more as he slowly lowered himself back into his chair. He figured that was what happened, but he still could not believe his ears. All he could do was stare at her swollen belly. Pregnant?

"Mamoru did you hear me? I said I was-"

"Pregnant," Mamoru muttered, still a bit in shock. He still could not take his gaze off her belly. Usagi rolled her eyes and bit her lip to keep from tearing up. This was not how she wanted the news to go. She quickly climbed to her feet and crossed to her bed, picking up a crocheted shawl that she proceeded to wrap around her shoulders, in attempt to hide her belly.

"If you are just going to stare you can leave Mamoru Chiba!" Usagi snapped, turning her back to Mamoru. She didn't need his help. She has done fine without him so far. She could raise this child by herself if she needed to. And Ana would be more then willing to help her. She has been there for Usagi since she returned to the Moon Kingdom.

"When-When did this happen?" Mamoru muttered softly as he watched Usagi stand with her back to him. He wasn't sure what he should do. Should he rush to her side, wrap his arms around her and forget everything that happened? Or should he just sit there and be numb to everything that was happening?

"The weekend we spent at the Cabin, the last night we were there," Usagi said softly, reaching a hand to brush away the tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks.

"Oh." Mamoru said. That explained why she became distant and ignored talking to him and the others. "Why didn't you tell me? We could have figured this out together you know."

Usagi sighed, "Because I knew how you and the others would react if I told you. I needed time to sort out my thoughts and feelings about everything."

Mamoru frowned. "Well you should have told us. If you didn't want to tell the rest, you should have at least told me. I had a right to know! You were being selfish Usagi," Mamoru said disappointedly. Usagi spun around and glared at Mamoru. How dare he call her selfish!

"Mamoru how dare you call me selfish! How dare any of you pass judgment on me! Get out of my room! NOW!" Usagi barked at the top of her lungs. She was not going to put up with anyone's judgment not now not ever!

Mamoru stood quickly and returned her glare. "Usagi Tsukino you are the most stubborn pigheaded person I have ever met. When you decided to get down off your high horse, you know where to find me," Mamoru snapped as he spun on his heels and hurriedly cross the room, the door slamming behind him.

"Mamoru…" Usagi called after him. What have I done?

AN: That's it for chapter 9! Now that I'm back at work on this, I will definately try to update more often!


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